Friday, November 5, 2010

An Unwanted Vacation. When a MIL comes to visit!

By Jennifer (Double Duty Mommy) at 3:44 PM
So this past week (up until 2 days ago) my MIL came down from Georgia to visit. She pretty much told us the day before that she was coming down to visit for the week... just because. I guess she wanted to see Kendall, which cool, but um... don't tell ppl you're going to be staying over the day before!

Her & I get along... ok. We have our moments when we can hang out, go have lunch or dinner and gossip, but then other times when we just butt heads. I'm completely different then she is and I was raised a completely different way then she was.
This week, I really just wanted to tell her to go get a hotel room.. or just go back home.

Every 2 seconds it was something else from her about the way John & I parent. Let me fill you in on a little secret about me: Do not tell me how to parent or in fact, don't tell me what to do in the first place. I've never responded well with anyone telling me how to do anything. I was pretty much raised by my dad and he gave me complete control over my decisions and never really bothered telling me what to do.

She on the other hand, she feels like she needs to direct everyone in everything. Kendall hasn't been sleeping well through the night for about 5 days now and my MIL has to open her mouth and say it's probably because of something I'm eating. Which sounds all fine and dandy like MAYBE it's an idea but um, no, it's not. the only thing that causes an issue with Kendall is me eating/drinking dairy... so I don't do it, and even if I slip up it causes her to throw up. In no way does it cause sleep issues.
I think it's just the normal thing baby's go through all of a sudden where they hate sleeping again.

Then, it was "why don't you give her formula. she's not getting enough milk from you"! Are you kidding me!? She's perfectly fine and getting just as chunky as she needs to be. So yeah, I told her "um, hell no". The next day, there was a can of Enfamil on the kitchen counter. I asked her why she bought it and she said "... just in case"! :) Trying to be nice I told her that we are only breastfeeding and Kendall doesn't need formula at all.

The next day, John & I went to run errands and we left Kendall at home, per my MIL's request. I have about five 8oz bags of milk in the fridge, which is obviously more then enough milk since we were only gone for about 2 hours.
We come home and I see the can on the counter again but the lid was off. I asked what it was doing there and she says, "Well, I gave her a bottle but she was still hungry so I made her a bottle using the formula"!!! OMG, I was furious! It's like she was too lazy to wait for another bag to heat up under the water or something... or really, it was just her wanting to get her way and give Kendall the formula!
Of course this ensued some arguing which led to me having a horrible night. Oh, and now... Kendall has been constipated. I've literally had to help this child get her poop out because of the formula "she" wanted!

Next topic, why don't I give Kendall water and juice in between feedings. Um, because I don't think babies need water or juice for that matter. Who gives a 3mth old water or apple juice? I've never heard that you should/need to and I didn't give it to Makenna when she was a baby. But oh no, apparently I NEED to according to my all knowing MIL.

Finally, the day before she left she told me that I have to go out and weed the back of my yard because it's getting a little ugly around the bushes. I told her that I don't weed.. John does it since I take care of 90% of the inside of the house. O.m.g, you'd think I just killed her cat because that started a whole shit storm of crap! Like how dare I "make" John weed the yard and take care of the yard in general. 'She had to do all of that stuff so what makes me soooo special'. John tried to defend me and in the mean time pretty much talking crap on his own dad. His dad and mom divorced when he was like 6 or something so of course my MIL was a single parent so she HAD to do everything around her house. John's words exactly, "I'm sorry daddy bitched out on you and was never around but Jenn has a husband, me, and it's my job to take care of her and whatever I can for her. the yard and weeding included! She shouldn't have to do it, just because you did" and she comes back with, "Well, I think she should because I had to"
Seriously, she's trying to punish me because she had a horrible marriage and didn't get the life she wanted!?

She ALWAYS tells me I need to get a job too. John & I are sooo perfect financially with just him working so I don't need a job. It was her "Dream Job" to be a SAHM but she never got to, she had to work 2 jobs to support her family and kids, so why should I get to stay home"
Again, this lady is trying to punish me because she didn't get the life she wanted!

This week seriously was so stressful but I was not trying to convey it on Twitter or anything, so none of you may have known anything was going on.
Thankfully she went home but I know she'll be back and it's just going to be like this week all over again.

Do any of you also have a crazy MIL?! I'd love to hear your stories, maybe it'll make me feel a little better? lol.


3 commented:

mommypants13 on November 5, 2010 at 4:11 PM said...

Ughhh I hate inlaws, my fil was here this weekend and I seriously was ready to scream by the second day

Matt and Jen McEvoy on November 5, 2010 at 5:41 PM said...

I can't believe she went behind your back and gave Kendall formula!! Wow, I would be FURIOUS! Choosing breastmilk or formula is such a personal decision, I can't believe she would think she has any right to tell you which one to use, and especially to go buy it and give it to YOUR child! I don't have issues with my in-laws, I got REALLY lucky. Sorry you have to deal with that!

Karine Traverse on November 17, 2010 at 12:47 AM said...

I feel you, except I live with my MIL and FIL! EEEK! We are not financially stable right now, but my husband still rather I stay home with the kids while we work to get into a better place. I am called a horrible mother because when hubby gets home from work he takes the kids and gives me a break so I can blog and have some me time. I would be furious if someone gave my child formula, I have never been able to exclusively breastfeed, but if I was I would go off.

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