A SAHM wanting to work??

So rewind 3 months. December 4th I became an official SAHM. Why? Well we were 2 months pregnant and both John and I decided a long time ago that once we were pregnant I would leave my job.
I didn't have a hard job at all. Please, it was probably the easiest jobs I could ever had. I was the store manager for a independently owned GNC. The husband & wife team pretty much made their own rules and because we weren't a "corporate store" we didn't really have any guidelines we had to follow. So seriously, it was awesome to work there.
Of course I had gain knowledge of vitamins, herbs, supplements, sports nutrition, etc (so if you ever have questions... feel free to ask, lol) but hey, who doesn't like a little more education in their life?
So besides that, I just sat around on the stool, cleaned, got online on my G1 phone, and talked on the phone.. well besides helping customers but please, we averaged about 40/day.

Even with the ease of all that, I left GNC. Here's the thing though: I HATE being at home. Hate it! I've always been a little worker bee sorta speak. I really do love working as odd as that may sound. Sure, it can be stressful and I may not get along with everyone I work with, but dammit I love it.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the time I've had at home with Makenna and I want to be there 100% for Kendall too. I absolutely LOVE to cook and I'm such a perfectionist that I always have to clean the kitchen and make sure things are in their place, so being a SAHM is really perfect for me since I can control everything. John does help, he cooks and cleans, so no it's not just me. HE does his fair share so I'm not trying to take any credit away from him what so ever.

I really want a PT job somewhere. Will John let me though? No, lol, and that's the problem. He doesn't want me to work at all. I'm sure any other women would jump on the opportunity but I want to work. Not a lot, maybe just 10-15 hours a week AT MOST. And honestly, I don't even care where it's at really. Well, ok, I take that back but you know what I mean.
*sigh* I don't know what I'm going to do. Probably nothing if I can tell you the truth. I'll just continue what I'm doing for a while I suppose.