Post Partum Still Has Me By The Balls

It's funny, just when you think you have this thing beaten, just when you're ready to throw your arms up in victory, when you have the best day to date and you know think you're all better... someone or something called life throws a damn wrench in it all!

I sit at home doing the same monotonous things on a daily basis: Walk Makenna to the bus stop, make the beds, take the dog out, feed Kendall, put on Beauty & The Beast. While Kendall is now occupied with her favorite movie I do the dishes, vacuum, sweep, steam mop what seems like the entire house, clean the bathrooms (yes, on a daily basis!), pick up toys, do laundry, etc.

I don't even feel like I'm living a life anymore. I feel like I'm just going through life according to a planned schedule. Nothing ever really changes from day to day for me. I can't even tell you the last time I actually did my hair and makeup. Maybe... a month ago and I wasn't even going anywhere.. I just wanted to feel pretty for a day. I was looking at *old* (and by that I mean... 3-4 years ago maybe) pictures of myself and I cannot believe that I did my hair and makeup everyday. I sometimes wonder what my husband thinks of me. When he met me I wore makeup, I did my hair... not every day but sometimes. Now? Nothing.
I often wondering if he is actually attracted to me anymore. If he thinks, "Where did my hot wife go?!". I for 1 know I think those things, so he must.

Sureee on his days off, John will help take some of that load off but even then it doesn't really feel like it at the end of the day. On my husband's days off, he likes to hang out, play Xbox. Like I said, he does pick up some of my slack but if he changes 2 diapers it then becomes, "I changed the last one, it's your turn honey" to which I respond with, "Oh really? Well how about the 15 diapers I changed yesterday! Are you going to make up for those!?" I end up winning but I just wish stupid things like that wouldn't happen.
From those little things though, I begin to hate everything. I begin to think that my husband doesn't even care about me or my feelings at all.

I mean sure, my husband works his ASS off all the time for us and I am blessed with being able to stay home for a year now but I really wish he'd help out more. His days off from work should be my days off from... life. I don't want to change Kendall, I don't want to have to hold her all day, give her a bath at night or anything. I just want to bask in her cute baby self... when she's not crying! When Makenna gets home from school I just want to be able to play with her instead of telling her I can't because Sister needs me.

Some days I seriously think I have beaten PPD. I get so high on the happiness of that day that I literally do not take my medicine at night. Why? Well, in a word, I guess I'm just crazy. I begin to think, "this day was perfect. I didn't yell, I had fun, I was laughing, playing. I'm not depressed!" The next day... ha, I'm a complete bitch again. I feel like my world is crashing down around me. Nothing goes right what so ever.
At the end of the day what do I honestly have to be sad about though? Honestly? I live in a nice house, I have a wonderful family, a great husband and 2 wonderful kids whom I love dearly.

I mean seriously, how could you not smile when you have this to look at....

and lets not forget this...

But that's when I know I haven't beaten this monster. When I can be sad when I have 2 amazing, gorgeous girls, there has to be something wrong with me.

So my days of the 'do this, do that' mommy will continue but I suppose I need to stick to Zoloft and hope for the best.

An Unwanted Vacation. When a MIL comes to visit!

So this past week (up until 2 days ago) my MIL came down from Georgia to visit. She pretty much told us the day before that she was coming down to visit for the week... just because. I guess she wanted to see Kendall, which cool, but um... don't tell ppl you're going to be staying over the day before!

Her & I get along... ok. We have our moments when we can hang out, go have lunch or dinner and gossip, but then other times when we just butt heads. I'm completely different then she is and I was raised a completely different way then she was.
This week, I really just wanted to tell her to go get a hotel room.. or just go back home.

Every 2 seconds it was something else from her about the way John & I parent. Let me fill you in on a little secret about me: Do not tell me how to parent or in fact, don't tell me what to do in the first place. I've never responded well with anyone telling me how to do anything. I was pretty much raised by my dad and he gave me complete control over my decisions and never really bothered telling me what to do.

She on the other hand, she feels like she needs to direct everyone in everything. Kendall hasn't been sleeping well through the night for about 5 days now and my MIL has to open her mouth and say it's probably because of something I'm eating. Which sounds all fine and dandy like MAYBE it's an idea but um, no, it's not. the only thing that causes an issue with Kendall is me eating/drinking dairy... so I don't do it, and even if I slip up it causes her to throw up. In no way does it cause sleep issues.
I think it's just the normal thing baby's go through all of a sudden where they hate sleeping again.

Then, it was "why don't you give her formula. she's not getting enough milk from you"! Are you kidding me!? She's perfectly fine and getting just as chunky as she needs to be. So yeah, I told her "um, hell no". The next day, there was a can of Enfamil on the kitchen counter. I asked her why she bought it and she said "... just in case"! :) Trying to be nice I told her that we are only breastfeeding and Kendall doesn't need formula at all.

The next day, John & I went to run errands and we left Kendall at home, per my MIL's request. I have about five 8oz bags of milk in the fridge, which is obviously more then enough milk since we were only gone for about 2 hours.
We come home and I see the can on the counter again but the lid was off. I asked what it was doing there and she says, "Well, I gave her a bottle but she was still hungry so I made her a bottle using the formula"!!! OMG, I was furious! It's like she was too lazy to wait for another bag to heat up under the water or something... or really, it was just her wanting to get her way and give Kendall the formula!
Of course this ensued some arguing which led to me having a horrible night. Oh, and now... Kendall has been constipated. I've literally had to help this child get her poop out because of the formula "she" wanted!

Next topic, why don't I give Kendall water and juice in between feedings. Um, because I don't think babies need water or juice for that matter. Who gives a 3mth old water or apple juice? I've never heard that you should/need to and I didn't give it to Makenna when she was a baby. But oh no, apparently I NEED to according to my all knowing MIL.

Finally, the day before she left she told me that I have to go out and weed the back of my yard because it's getting a little ugly around the bushes. I told her that I don't weed.. John does it since I take care of 90% of the inside of the house. O.m.g, you'd think I just killed her cat because that started a whole shit storm of crap! Like how dare I "make" John weed the yard and take care of the yard in general. 'She had to do all of that stuff so what makes me soooo special'. John tried to defend me and in the mean time pretty much talking crap on his own dad. His dad and mom divorced when he was like 6 or something so of course my MIL was a single parent so she HAD to do everything around her house. John's words exactly, "I'm sorry daddy bitched out on you and was never around but Jenn has a husband, me, and it's my job to take care of her and whatever I can for her. the yard and weeding included! She shouldn't have to do it, just because you did" and she comes back with, "Well, I think she should because I had to"
Seriously, she's trying to punish me because she had a horrible marriage and didn't get the life she wanted!?

She ALWAYS tells me I need to get a job too. John & I are sooo perfect financially with just him working so I don't need a job. It was her "Dream Job" to be a SAHM but she never got to, she had to work 2 jobs to support her family and kids, so why should I get to stay home"
Again, this lady is trying to punish me because she didn't get the life she wanted!

This week seriously was so stressful but I was not trying to convey it on Twitter or anything, so none of you may have known anything was going on.
Thankfully she went home but I know she'll be back and it's just going to be like this week all over again.

Do any of you also have a crazy MIL?! I'd love to hear your stories, maybe it'll make me feel a little better? lol.

Body Issues

You don't really hear me complaining about my body often but right now I just feel like talking about how I really do hate my body.
If you look at it in a big picture then it doens't seem like I have much to complain about.

Before I got pregnant with Makenna I was an 18 year old 5'4" 102 pound girl. While pregnant with Makenna I only gained about 10 pounds and I INSTANTLY lost it all about 2 hours after I gave birth. When I left the hospital I was down to 100 pounds, no joke!

When I got pregnant with Kendall I was 112 pounds, wearing my size 14 and 16 abercrombie KIDS jeans. I got up to a whopping 150! About a week-2 weeks later I lost about 30 pounds of it. By now, 15 weeks later, I am down to about 115 wearing my size 0 Abercrombie & Fitch jeans. Awesome right? So what the hell am I complaining about?!?

Well look at the images below. Excuse my poor free hand paint job. I'm not good at the free hand stuff, lol :)

Before Kids / After Makenna / After Kendall (current day)

  (btw, apparently I didn't have a belly button before I had kids. lol.

Please excuse my lack of belly button on the 1st picture)

Notice what I do?! In 2003 I was a twig, honestly, I know I was. I didnt know how good of a body I had because of course I was an insecure teenager around that time. I had full PERKY B cups yet I "hated my boobs".

cut to November 2004 my body was not as tight anymore and I now had a full D cup! After my milk ran out I had a saggy full D cup with stretch marks all over them! I got stretch marks on my stomach, sides, inside of my legs and the back of my knees. Who even knew you could get stretch marks on the back of your knees?! Well this girl did!

But whatever, I learned to love my body since the stretch marks pretty much faded down to nothingness and I would always keep a bra on when I'd have sex (lol). Yeah, I never fell in love with the look of my boobs after that.

Current day... I am now a full F cup! They hang even lower then they did before and have even more/darker stretch marks on them. The stretch marks in between my legs are even darker, & now I really hate my stomach since the marks are daker on them too. Plus, that stupid line going down the middle of your stomach.. yeah, that's STILL there!! WTF! I didnt even get that line when I was pregnant with Makenna and now It wont even go away.

I hate getting undressed in front of John because contrary to what he says I feel like I have the ugliest body ever!

Sure, I lost the weight but damnit now I want every kind of surgery to make my body tight and stretchmark-less again. Plus, I want a boob lift & reduction because they are too low and too huge!

Hell, I had to take 90% of my shirt/top wordrob to Plato's Closet because my boobs don't fit into them anymore.

I know I can work out and do all that kind of stuff but I highly doubt it'll give me my old body back. A body, I could not actually appreciate since I never did back then. And I just want to feel comfortable with my boobs. 100%.

I keep trying to be positive and be accepting of my new baby given body look... but it's just not working. I try to listen to my hubby when he compliments me but again, I just shrug them off and think "he's just saying that. He thinks my body is ugly now. That's what he REALLY wants to say."

I don't know how to get out of this frame of mind.
Does anyone else feel the same way I do? Did you overcome your body image issues? 'Cause I'd love to hear HOW you did it!???

Being a housewife...

... is something I love to do and be. It really is. But honestly it's SO damn hard. Why is it so hard for men to wrap their heads around the fact that yes, even though you go to work every day, moms NEVER have a day off?
I have to say though, my husband does an extremely good job on helping me around the house and with our daughters.
We've pretty much found our roles in the house and are in a really good groove.

He gives Kendall a bath every night - dries her, lotions her baby skin and dresses her. Then I take over and feed her, swaddle her (he hasn't gotten the swaddle down to a quick science like I have, lol) then he puts her to sleep and she's out till 3am. He gets up with her then - changes, & feeds then wakes me only to swaddle her up once more.At 6am I get up with her because at 7 I get Makenna ready for school, pack her lunch while I let John sleep in a bit more. Then John (if he doesnt work in the AM that day) takes her to school so Kendall and I can go back to sleep for 2 hours.

Our house is surprisingly still in perfect condition most days. I do dishes during the day and if there is anything at night he does them. I do laundry at least once a day and most of the time he'll fold & put it away.

Even on his days off he's amazing. One of his days we'll lounge around the house or go run errands but the other day is MOMMY DAY. He takes the girls out for pretty much the whole day while I get to be at home (or go to where I want by myself!). A normal person would probably sleep though, wouldn't you think? What do I do? I clean. I deep clean the bathrooms, kitchen, dust, do extra laundry.. you name it. I've figured out I clean because I get to do it uninterupted. I dont have Makenna stopping me every 2 seconds or a baby crying that I have to tend to. I can just clean at my own pace and make sure it's done to my standard. But even once I'm done cleaning I hop online and tweet. Lol, I know I'm a tad bit crazy.

I've been a stay-at-home mom since December of last year (2009). We had already decided once I was pregnant that I wouldn't work anymore. We have the means and I definitely do not need to work so thankfully I was able to quit my job and be at home with Makenna and have a very relaxing pregnancy.

Most women wish for my job. To not work and just be at home with their kids. Believe me, I do love it and I never take for granted that I don't have to work. My husband is amazing for having 2 jobs (well only 1 really counts since the other doesn't bring us an income to really count on. He just has it for the perks!) and he never complains about having to work and then coming home to take Kendall off my hands. I'm finding that even with Makenna in school for 6 1/2 hours every day I WANT to work again. I've always been that type though. I work extremely hard and I always want a job. Being at home makes me so restless (probably why I clean so much) and I get cabin fever very easily.

John doesn't want me to work since I don't have to, plus in his family "the women shouldn't have to work, that's the man's job" (his family rules... not mine, lol). But he and his family had another thing coming when I stepped into the picture. I love working, which is why I've been applying for jobs. The problem I keep encountering when I go in for interviews is my schedule. Even though I wanna work I only want maybe 10 hours/week. Of course everyone wants me to work more or make me a manager (since that's my background), which would mean lots of hours and long hours.

So now I'm stuck. I want to work but I don't want to work a lot.

I guess I'll just stick to my mommy job and call it a day.

My Worries

So it's been 2 weeks tomorrow that I've been on Zoloft. I'm still not quite sure what to think about it. Some days I think it helps and other days, like yesterday, I think it does nothing at all and I question if I even took my pill the night before.

The first few days I debated to stop taking it because a couple nights in a row I would lay in bed and I would start to have an out of body experience or something. It literally felt like I was floating above my own self. Another night, John & I were cuddling in bed and he had his hand over mine and all of a sudden I felt like my hand was so tiny, like an ants, and he was just smothering me or something.

It was weird.

On top of dealing with my own PPD issues, Kendall has been having some horrible reflux. Her ped suggested we try some rice cereal in her milk but at 2 weeks old? C'mon. Then last week she said, it sounds like Kendall is lactose intolerant and to put her on Soy formula. John & I both expressed how we really want her to have my milk and formula wasn't something we wanted to do, and she simply responded by saying, it's the baby's choice, not ours! lol.
She gave us a sample of Similac Isomil Advanced Soy Formula. It took me a couple days but I finally gave in and gave it to her. Of course the reflux didn't stop and now dealing with his problem for 3 1/2 week both John & I had had enough. We just want our baby girl to feel better and not hurt and cry all the time.

After talking to all you Twitter moms and doing my own online research I become extremely angry with the pediatrician and have since switched to a new Dr. for Kendall.

I've put her back on breast milk but now for 2 days I've been dairy and caffeine free. My milk production has definitely taken a hit from me not pumping for those 2 days she was on formula but its slowly starting to climb back up. I went from 12+oz a side to about 2-3oz. So it's definitely depressing to say the least but I know my body can produce the much needed milk for Kendall.

So now what to do with the approx. 235oz of milk I have stocked up in the freezer?

Well I found a local place called Get PUMPed! I already put in my application so hopefully I get approved soon and I can help a much needed mom & baby out in the Orlando area!

Happy Birthday Kendall Rose Mercurio!!!! Welcome to the earth!

So this wont really be a Birth Story blog, because honestly I'm too tired to go into every detail of it but I tell you some parts :)

Saturday night at 8 I began feeling really bad contractions and if you follow my tweets then I even tweeted that I was getting in the shower hoping that would help. Well 2 hours later and I was STILL dying and they were getting worse. We never timed them but figured they were about 1-2minutes apart!
John called and said we are on our way, no questions asked.

Once we got there they didnt even triage me like our normal false labor visits we had in the past couple weeks. I was checked and I was still just 3cm & -2 station but now 60% effaced. Being monitored they saw that yeah my contractions were 1-2minutes apart and by my reaction really intense. Already I told them that I do want an epidural but my doctor told me she wanted me to progress some more before I got it.

 Having contractions... I thought I was goign to rip that handle off

(thanks for the pic honey, lol)

Everyone thought it'd be quick since my contractions were so close but nope 8 (yes EIGHT!) hours later I was finally 4-5cm, 70%, still -2 station. It took about a hour to get my epidural and finally I had some release.
It's about 6am now and I was feeling good. About... 1 hour later I began to feel contractions again, not painful at first but still, I shouldn't have felt them. We waited it out and then it was like I never had the epidural at all!
Another hour later, they came in and gave me the same epidural medicine that women get for a c-section!

It did NOTHING! I was still feeling every single thing and drying along the way. Of course they were getting worse and worse and I wasn't even progressing when ever they'd check me :/ It sucked.

Tweeting in between contractions #twitterbirth

A lot of stuff I don't really remember because I was in so much pain I didn't want anyone talking to me, I wasn't looking at the clock, I didn't care about anything except feeling better... but I wasn't feeling better at all.

Then, I began feeling soo much pressure. Told John and he told the nurses, when she checked me I was 9cm, 70% and -1 station. WTF?! I was dying here people!
It continued and apparently because it was so bad I began holding my breath, so much so that I was making my cervix swell up. I tried to breath, and eventually the swelling went down (about 2 hours later).
Eventually I just screamed out, IM PUSHING! lol. John ran out and the doctor and nurses ran in, of course telling me to stop. Seriously, lol, ok, lemme just stop the pressure and the need to push.
When I was checked I was +1 station, 10cm and 100% so yay, it was time.
10 minutes later and having I thought I ripped my whole body in half Kendall Rose was born. Even though she was 8lbs 1oz I didn't rip one tiny bit! I don't know how but hey, I'll take it, lol.

We were pleasantly surprised that when I told my Dr. that [of course] I wanted her to stay with us for as long as possible before they took her away and bathed her, they told us that they never take the babies away (unless medically necessary). It's pretty much their rule that babies stay with the parents for at least 5 hours before they get a bath. I was so happy to hear that since I was already ready to argue if I needed to. Furthermore, when it's bath time they give the baby a bath in room, not in the nursery, so again, baby never leaves your sight!

Also, the whole entire time at the hospital she stayed with us because although my hospital has a nursery they don't even let you have the option to have them watch your baby. It's 24/7 stay-in style or whatever so Kendall got to sleep in the same room with us, another thing both John & I wanted.

An amazing feature (that I've NEVER seen before) was that both Kendall and I had a bracelet monitor thing on. They were linked together so every 1/2 hour, if I got close to Kendall a little chime would go off letting us know she was my baby. If another mother would have gotten near Kendall alarms and lights would flash through-out the maternity floor. Also, there is a red line on the ground near every exit so if your baby is stolen by someone and they try to leave then again, the alarms and lights will go crazy! John and I felt soooo incredibly comfortable because of that.

Our hospital visit was definitely one of THE BEST visits I've ever had at a hospital 100%. Anyone ever in Florida and want a great hospital, then lemme know.

My baby all covered in vernix.

The scale changed too fast but she was 8.1 pounds, I promise, lol

Daddy holding his new daughter for the 1st time

soo in love already

My 1st time holding Kendall

tried latching. I got too frustrated so I pumped and INSTANTLY got 10ml outta my bewb

My bewbs love me cuz day 2 and I already have 3oz from each!

It was a crazy and longgggggggggggggg experience but she came out perfectly 100% healthy for being 3weeks early. No lung problems, no hearing problems, NOTHING! Plus, she sleeps 24/7 so yay!

We are truly blessed. ♥

Twitter Tat Tour

So I am jumping on the band wagon and writing this fun little blog for the #twittertattour that is going on today!

I have 4 tattoos, although I've had 2 redone, so I've been under the needle 6 times.
I've gotten all 4 of my tattoos and touch ups from the same guy at the same shop. He's awesome, cool to talk to and super quick but great at what he does :)

My first was Oct. 18th 2007 @ 3am. I got a star on my Right hip bone. I just wanted something small, and of course I wanted it pink so I decided on a tiny star. Cliche or not... I love it! :) It kinda hurt but it only took about 3 minutes.
Sorry about the lighting in the pic and yes, the star IS pink but when I took this picture I was very tan from the beach and because yes... I do (did) go to the tanning salon all the time so then it turned it sorta maroonish colored. It's back to it's original pink color now since I'm practically the color of a ghost right now.

Now that I am pregnant I didn't know what was going to happen to my precious little star but thankfully it's low enough that it has not been touched at all my my stretching belly! Because I carry high it's still in the same spot and the same size it always was! :) YAY!!

(this pic was taken June 2008)

I got my next LITERALLY about 6 hours later. Once I left the tattoo shop the first time I just didn't feel satisfied. I already knew pretty much how many tattoos I wanted (4) and I knew what I wanted 3 of them to be of. So I went back once I woke up in the morning and got my daughter's name on my back.
My lower back hurt a lot but apparently I took it better then most girls getting a tattoo there is what I was told. It only took about 5-6 minutes to do. Like I said, I got this done in Oct. 18th 2007 (6 hours after I got the star tattoo), THEN came back in I believe it was late January 2008 to get another tattoo and while I was there he did the blue shading on this tattoo (for free).

(Pic was taken right when I got home from the shop)

(Pic was taken right when I got home from the shop)

My 3rd & 4th (along with the above blue shading) were done [like I already mentioned] in late January 2008. Again, I only went in for 1 tattoo but since I was already there I thought, "hell... why not..." and got 2, lol.

The heart is on my left foot. It hurt LIKE HELL! I'm sorry but great if you can stand that pain but I will never deny saying it hurt soooo damn bad. Thankfully it was done quick, just a couple minutes as well.

(Pic was taken June 2008)

The 4th tattoo is on my Right ankle. This might be 1 I regret when I'm older... who knows. I really didn't care and never planned it out. I just thought stars, a moon and clouds would be cool so he threw this together.

(Pic was taken right when I got home from the shop)

I loved it but... I went back to get it fixed! I was obsessed with the fact that I thought the clouds on the inside of the moon looked like 2 balls! LMAO. I just could not get over the fact that that was all I saw when I looked at it. I heard so many times by so many people that I was crazy and they couldn't even see it looking like balls until I said something but still, since in my eyes I already saw balls it didn't help no matter how many people told me otherwise! So I went back a couple days later and he touched it up and added more stars and more colors (for free!!).

(Pic was taken right when I got home from the shop)

So that's my tattoos. I am planning on maybe 1-2 more in the near future, so maybe you'll see another tattoo blog post from me about those :)

Dedication

So right now, yes, at 1:33am, I have so much motivation to talk about my hubby, John.
Is he perfect? No. Not really. But I can say that even though he is the WORST person to be on time and he forgets things way too often, I love him sooo much.

He is amazing, loving, smart, funny, sexy as hell, sweet, strong, sympathetic, vulnerable, cuddly, caring, crazy, down to earth, he always smells sooooo damn good, he's the greatest father to Makenna & already to Kendall,... yes I could go on and on.

John makes me feel special. He gives me roses and flowers for no reason what so ever. He holds me from behind and gives soft kisses on my neck, he makes me laugh so much.

He can piss me off so bad when he's late or forgets an appointment but at the end of the day does that stuff really matter? Nope, not at all. He's my perfect man and I love him so much. He makes me smile when I'm in a horrible mood. He gives the best hugs. I love our alone time and how open we can talk to each other.

No matter what he ALWAYS supports me and lets me make the choices I want. He constantly tries to give me everything I want & need to make me the happiest woman in the world.

What other daddy runs around a grocery store or in the mall tickling, chasing his daughter, picking her up and laughing so loud with her? I get so embarrassed how loud they become but then it makes me smile so big to see the love Makenna and John have between them.

Since I've been pregnant it's actually like I've passes along my memory to him because I am 24/7 forgetting the smallest thing while he remembers EVERYTHING now. lol.
He loves feeling Kendall move and he talks to her all the time. He find the cutest outfits for her and talks about how much of a Daddy's Girl [he thinks, lol] she's going to be. (<-- I will have a say in that though, lol).
I cannot wait to meet our little girl in 2 1/2 short months and see how gorgeous she is and what she got from her daddy. She will grow up to be the most loved little girl with the funnest daddy.

John, my husband, my best friend... he means so much to me. I love him with all my heart and can never image a life without him.
I love you honey bear. 

10 Honest Things About You

HONESTY
self explanatory. Just write 10 things about yourself and be honest.


1. I very much so miss my teenage years. I always tend to think back to specific times and I actually get sad over not living that way anymore, or being able to do certain things.

2. I'm extremely emotional in every way. I can cry over almost anything, I get upset at almost anything, I get annoyed with most anything. I don't necessarily like that about myself so I'm trying to adjust some of my tendencies.


3. I absolutely love being pregnant in every way. Knowing what will come in those short 9 mths, seeing my belly getting bigger (sometimes by the day), hearing the heartbeat for the 1st time... and each time after, feeling every little movement as small as some can be, and finally seeing the baby on the ultrasound. I do hate the crazy hormones, morning sickness, boobs and other bodily changes that are sometimes just scary, though.

4. I feel really overwhelmed most of the time. I do get lost of help from John but I feel like my plate is never emptied, it's always full.

5. I love to cook! 100% adore it. For the longest time I looked into going to a Culinary School but then figured out I didn't really want to cook as a career but more so just as a passion. There are more Food Network shows set to the DVR then any other channel. I'm always learning, always trying new things and always having fun while I cook.

6. I've come to the conclusion that I don't really have a career goal in mind. I suppose I'm just one of those people. I just want to make sure I'm a great wife & mother and have a little side job on the side just for my own sanity.

7. I've tried about for American Idol. Yep, in 2008, but because that show is RIGGED beyond any words of explanation I didn't get through. I don't think American knows how horrible the initial (not the singing in front of the judges round) audition round is. It really opened my eyes and now I look at American Idol in a whole different light because I went through that experience.

8. Being a mom has changed so many things about myself. It has taught me a little more self control, I have gained more patience (even though yes, I still lose it sometimes), it has taught me what true love really is. Being a mom has brought me so much joy that I really don't think anything else in this entire world can top it.

9. I love McDonald's. I'm sorry but I do. Regardless of the health issues it can bring. Their BBQ Chipotle wrap and fries are almost my favorite thing to eat along with their Sweet Tea.

10. One of the hardest things for me during this pregnancy was to give up Pepsi. But I'm glad to say that I havn't had any soda in 15 weeks (the first few weeks I did still drink it sometimes.) and actually.... I'm ok with it now and don't crave it anymore. Plus, I drink more water now then I ever have in my life so it's a good thing.